I have just come back from a cinema trip with the ankle biters. I need surplus supplies of coffee and also need to put my face in a Victoria sponge. Yes it was that bad….

Stage 1 – You give them their snacks and they watch the trailers. All is going well they seem excited and engaged.

Stage 2 – The snacks run out , they ask for more and you say no. Meltdown number one starts , the film hasn’t even started and your out of snacks.

Stage 3 – They have asked to go to toilet 6 times the film has only been on half an hour.

Stage 4 – You’re really getting in to Cars 3 and want to see what happens to Lightening McQueen but you can’t concentrate as they are running up and down the isles. You consider leaving them to it.

Stage 4- You go and buy some more snacks just to keep them quiet and pay £3 for a bag of Maltesers , you contemplate buying one of the mini bottles of wine but it’s only 10.30am so you decide it would be best not to.

Stage 5 – They get in to the film again and are happily settled. You start to enjoy the film too.

Stage 6- They start messing around again , you threaten them with home and they say OK then I’m ready to go. You beg them to stay as your engrossed by this point. But it doesn’t work so off home you go after spending a small fortune! Promise yourself never to take them again , until there’s another film they (you) want to see.

Anyone else ?


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