For the last three and a half years I have taken a major backseat. It’s been about the ankle biters and survival. Everything I have been doing I do for them. I live and breathe Mr tumble , poonamis , soggy bread sticks and tantrums. Don’t get me wrong I love my babies to bits and we do have a blast most days. It’s hard not to be totally and utterly consumed by it all. Having a baby is life changing in so many ways.
Of course you prepare for major life changes that a baby will bring. What I wasn’t quite prepared for was loosing my identity as a person and all that goes with that. When you are a Mum it does feel like you lose yourself slowly. It starts with oh I wont bother with make up today then progresses to never wearing make up and permanent mum bun.
That moment when you put your last handbag away in to the loft because now your changing bag is your handbag as you don’t need to take anything out with you .The baby needs the whole house packed in to one bag so there is only room for your purse and phone. Seriously baffles me how I used to fill a hand bag , with what ? Then the heals its bye bye to them , they also go to their new loft home.
Mum guilt is another major aspect that makes you lose yourself a bit as it makes you so much less impulsive and ready to treat yourself. Gone are the days of getting in to a bubble bath with your expensive bubble bath whilst browsing your phone to have a good old splurge on ASOS. Now its more like baby bath bubbles with scuba action man floating past you whilst thinking about what you can treat yourself to in Primarni on a budget of £20. This almost always ends in a haul for the ankle biters in my case , because lets face it children’s clothes are just too cute to say no.
You get that someone ask you what you do and when you say I’m stay at home Mum they kind of look at you with that “ohhh bless you” look as if they feel sorry for you. It’s hard for people to believe you were an individual person who had a career before having children. I do miss my career sometimes and the level of responsibility I had being a teacher and head of sixth form. I feel that now some people will just label me as Archie and Frankie’s mum and that’s it.
My weight has always been a struggle but it has been so up and down since I’ve become a Mum. I try so hard to be good and make healthy choices. Motherhood can be so draining and utterly exhausting some days so it’s nice to have a treat to give you that boost or something to look forward to in the evening when they are in bed.
All of these things have made me lose myself and my identity , I do miss being me. I have made a promise to myself realise I am “me” and not just Archie and Frankie’s Mum. I have started buying myself the odd treat and some new clothes on a regular basis. Also making an effort with putting make up on some days and doing my hair. Since I have started blogging too I’ve also gained some of “me” back as I’m using my brain and doing something that I want to do.
It’s so important as Mum’s that we don’t lose our identity and do things that make us happy. Yes our babies are our world but we are also important. Do what makes you happy and treat yourself.