Young mum love – because you deserve it

I’m not a young Mum myself as I had our first Archie when I was 31. My Mum was a young Mum she had me at 19 and also my Nan had my Mum at 18. As a Mum you make so many sacrifices and put things on hold until your little ones grow up. My Mum was training to be a nurse when she fell pregnant with me but gave it up in a heartbeat to have me and be a stay at home Mum.

I’m writing this post as I’m seeing a lot of young Mum’s being stereotyped within the media with people mostly hating on them and using generalisations. I think they definitely deserve some love and respect.

Being a Mum is hard and the challenges we face can leave us feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I get that feeling a lot if I’m having a bad day or week. I second guess myself and question everything I’m doing. Imagine having this feeling but also having other people also second guessing , questioning your Mummy skills and judging you.

I know a lot of young Mum’s doing an amazing job at bringing their little ones up and some at age 18/19 with two tots like me.  They are coping , bringing up amazing little beings and giving them the best start in life. Not out drinking every night , hanging around on street corners and neglecting their babies. This is what the media would have you sometimes believe or how some judgemental people imagine all young Mum’s are.

Being a young Mum does not automatically mean you are less capable than an older Mum. At the end of a day you are a Mum with the same motherly instincts and know the needs of your baby. A lot of young Mum’s I speak to have mentioned how they feel criticized for their decisions by family members and also complete strangers. This really does need to stop your baby your way no matter how old you are.

I think about what I would have had to give up at 18 to have a baby. University , nights out , festivals and my dream of being a teacher. I just don’t think I could have done that, on top of all the new things you have to learn and do as a parent. I would have been totally overwhelmed and completely crapping it. I could barely remember what time my lectures were and when my essays had to be handed in. I can’t imagine having to remember when my babies next feed was due , making decisions about where to send my toddler to nursery or managing my money for myself and a child.

I think back to my Mum being pregnant at 18 with me in the 60’s and fear of telling her parents , facing all the gossip over the fact she wasn’t married to my Dad , giving up her career and also not having a home of her own. My Mum with the support of my Dad faced all of these obstacles and created a family home for me and then my sister. She has done an amazing job as we have both turned out fab.  We are proof that being a young Mum isn’t always as the media would have you believe. I will always be eternally grateful for this.

To all the young Mum’s reading this I salute you and totally think you are rocking motherhood.

 

My online mummy squad

Over three and a half years ago I joined a baby centre January 2014 birth group. Little did I know the ladies I met on this group would be such a huge and influential part of my life. These ladies are my motherhood sisters. I have been through two pregnancies , births and every developmental milestone that my babies have gone through. We have celebrated three years of our gorgeous babies birthdays together and the younger siblings that have followed.

I speak to these ladies every day in some shape or form. We share our highs and lows without judgement.  They are my go to ladies with just about everything. There is always one of us there day or night to help celebrate or a shoulder to cry on or talk things over.

If one of us is hurt or upset we all are and we are on the hunt for who has caused it , a big group of angry mummies on the warpath – scary. We never get bored of listening to each others problems and someone always has a solution to almost every problem shared. I have learnt so much about being a mum from these women and they have made me the mummy I am today. These special ladies always rally around when someone is in need or going through a mummy meltdown.

We are all going through the same thing whether it be terrible twos ,  the threenager stage , potty training , sleep deprivation – you name it we’ve been there.

I always feel any negatives I have about being a mummy are made normal by these gorgeous women.  I love this as if I didn’t have them to talk things over I would just sit here thinking what an awful mum I was for not enjoying weaning or feel pathetic for crying because my three year old wont stop screaming at me every time I say no to something. Instead one of you will say yeah my little one is being a complete demon child today or man I hate potty training.

You ladies were there with me during my labour step by step with both babies from the moment my waters went. Some of us were in labour together , spurring each other on and had babies born just hours apart. You were number one on Facebook to see the precious first pictures of my babies. I came to you as soon as I got that positive test with Frankie ,  of course everyone else had to wait till the 12 week scan to find out but you knew as soon as I did.

We share everything , no such thing as over sharing in this group. We know each other inside out and can read each other like a book. If someone is down we know , if someone is pregnant we know. Nothing gets past us.

During the early days of motherhood the mummies kept me going through night feeds , winding and poonamis. Always there for a chat at 3am , 4,30 am and to share a coffee with at 8am. Some days when I was finding it impossible to get through on 2 hours sleep I had my own personal cheerleaders cheering me on to get to that finish line called bedtime and wine.

You will always be a part of my life no matter how big our babies get. I know I can always be 100 percent raw and honest with you ladies , with no judgement just kindness. You are and always will be my first port of call for support and encouragement. Thank you for being my motherhood sisters ,  always and loving me and my babies the way you do my online mummy squad.

Lianne xx

 

Mummy you need to look after you too – an open letter from the ankle biters

Dear Mummy ,

You need to start looking after you too.

Your always busy making sure we are looked after.

But what about you ?

When we wake up you fill our bellies with organic cereal and fresh berries ,  full of goodness. You sit there and drink coffee and grab a biscuit. You need to have goodness and be healthy too Mummy.

You get us dressed in our smartest ,  cutest fully coordinated outfits every day. You fix our hair and make sure we are preened and polished. You grab the nearest clothes and throw your hair up in to a mum bun. You deserve to be preened and polished too Mummy , curl your hair or put on some make up , do something for you.

Your last penny is spent on us , after all we need that other pair of boots or cute dress. What about you Mummy ? Treat yourself get that top you saw and loved , go on do it – you deserve it we have enough.

As soon as we show signs of illness or have a strange rash off to the doctors we go.  Mummy you have had a bad back since I was born , I’m now three don’t you think you should go to the doctors too ?

You take us to all of our toddler groups every week , gymnastics , dance class and always do fun things with us. You need to have fun things to do too Mummy – go for a spa day, get nanny to look after us , go shopping and eat a nice lunch or go on a date night with Daddy.

A lot of your time is spent trying to get us to take a nap. You say you were up all night last night you must be tired now , come on nap time. Mummy you were up all night with us too , now we are sleeping you sleep too. Leave the washing and the cleaning , crawl in to bed and pull back the duvet and sleep.

Mummy you make us the best bubbly baths with our favourite toys. You just jump in after us when daddy gets us dressed amongst all of our toys for five minutes.  Why don’t you have a bath with your favourite things when we go to bed ? Treat yourself to those bath bombs you like and read your book , go on Mummy you will love it.

 

So basically what we are trying to say is you need look after yourself. You matter too Mummy and need to be at your best to look after us.

Lots of Love

The ankle biters xxxx