It only feels like yesterday that Frankie started nursery , she ran in to nursery on the first day and didn’t look back. She has always been such a strong willed little girl who just oozes confidence. I have seen that confidence grow and grow over the past two years. I can’t believe how these two years have flow by and now she is off to do some big school taster days.

She has three weeks left at nursery and then that’s her starting big school after the summer. She has already had a taster day and because Archie already goes to the school she is so familiar with it so she ran in and hardly glanced back.

I could feel my eyes stinging and I had a lump in my throat , but I couldn’t show her this. Because she is so confident and happy people say to me “oh you don’t need to worry she will be fine” “think of the free time you will have” etc – I know all of this. But it still cuts me that she is my last baby and both of my babies will be in full time education. It’s the end of an era and I know come September I am going to feel lost.

I know she is so ready for this and needs the new challenges and new learning experiences and I’m excited for that. But when I look at her all I see is that 6lb 6 baby with a huge mop of black hair and those chubby cheeks staring back at me. How have 4 years gone by so quickly ?

We will miss our lazy mornings and Tuesdays together , the fresh air and freedom after nursery and being able to to exactly what we want. Instead we will be dictated by school times and routines. No popping up the mountain for a play or to the park for an afternoon picnic.  We will miss those spur of the moment plans and play dates during the afternoons.

And then there are the questions that keep going around my head , so many questions. Will they look after her like his nursery teachers do? Will they help her open her frubes ? What if another child is mean to her or wont play with her?

As I let go of her little hand and give her one more cuddle and kiss I know my heart will feel heavy like it never has before. I know that things will never be the same as she is my last baby and all those milestones have passed by so quickly and we will never get that time back.

She will change and grow up so quickly – she’s no longer a baby , a toddler , a preschooler – she is now a school girl. The time will come when she will not want to give me a kiss and cuddle at the gate , she won’t want to spend every last second with me – I will no longer be her best friend in the whole world. This is why my heart is heavy and hurts so much as I know this is the start of her really growing up and taking those independent steps away from me.

I’m also so excited for her and the new challenges she will take on. She’s going to learn to read , play a new sport , play a musical instrument , learn her times tables , speak fluent Welsh and gain so many fantastic life skills.

Good luck my little chicken – shine bright always.

Mummy xx

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